Im_faye

Blogshopping

2012-01-07T13:27:00.001+08:00

My first post of 2011 and in less than 19 days I will officially turn 21!!!! happy that I'm finally an adult but sad that I've aged... Anyway that's life and there's more challenges that we've to face for the rest of the road that we've to walk through... I'm mad about blog shopping recently. So just nice that I've moved house with a walk in wardrobe but madness me can't squeeze in all my clothes! I know myself well that I'm a shopaholic, I can buy anything that catches my eyes and interest me. I think I'm mentally insane about shopping that causes me to buy and buy. If I don't get the items that I wanted to I will feel funny, and at the end of the day I will still be back for it. Haha am I sick!? I am right! Lol... Hope the shopping disease gets away from me quickly... I'm stuck like that for 21 years is it still curable? I tried to control but at last I'll always lose the battle! Arghhh... Anyway that's me(:

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I'm lost somewhere...

2011-12-03T16:07:00.001+08:00

Ok it's been so so long that I've been blogging and now just a simple one. Haven't been doing much recently. Been with the same click and same crowd but yesterday was fun. Malaysia for makan session, a good massage plus jacuzzi plus sauna than petrol pumping for all 3 vroom vroom. After that makan session again... *felt so guilty for eating so much* *winks*. Enjoyed it's to the maximum. Chit chatted and play through the night and by the time that we reach Singapore it's already 5++ am in the morning...Lol!!!

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Shit that rots stink the air!!!

2011-10-07T02:53:00.001+08:00

Planning programs for tomorrow, don't want to waste my time and youth just like that... Hate being a nobody and living like no tomorrow. Tired, good night to all.

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没有未来的未来。。。

2011-10-05T03:49:00.001+08:00

I can't sleep getting insomnia is not a good thing. I want to close my eyes, I want to rest! Life's the same! Signing up for diploma class again. Hope I make it through. Nothing much happening, just randomly updating this empty space. Hope that life will be easy on me? Lol... Yes, I don't deny I'm a lazy person.

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Just draining time away...

2011-09-24T14:31:00.001+08:00

I finally blogged and clear all my spider webs. Firstly, congrats to my 傻大姐 happy wedding! Hope she really work out on her marriage and living lifestyle(: secondly, I'm carving for iPhone 5! Hope that it will be launched in the market soon as my iPhone 3 is bonkers! Lol... Think I jail breaked it too much! Thirdly, I'm moving house soon... I don't know when though( the auspicious date to move in)

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Irritated!

2011-08-29T04:03:00.001+08:00

Fml understand! Complicated world! How I wish I could leave those stress behind that has been hindering me! Whatever!

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Photoshoot preview

2011-08-12T03:38:00.001+08:00

Went to Malaysia for my shoot preview with boy and his friends. Car wash, massage and dinner as well.

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Happy birthday to my brother, Singapore, aunt and my beloved cousin!

2011-08-12T03:34:00.001+08:00

Blogger I'm back blogging here again. I know I know that I've been neglecting my blog. Busy with work and friends around me. I can say that I'm blessed having great friends around me, helping hands are given when I need them! Just want to say that you guys are the best ok(:

Thanks for always there for me when I need a shoulder to cry or even rant my anger and troubles! you babe!

Thanks for always giving me good advice and always there for a helping hand!
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Location:Tiong Poh Rd,Singapore,Singapore

Work lifestyle

2011-07-17T19:58:00.001+08:00

Actually frankly speaking, working here isn't that bad just that the politics here are too frequent! People can come in cause they are in a bad mood and start telling off everyone. I mean that our working attitude aren't that bad thou we tend joke around after lunch time. Cousin quitting after replacement comes. Gonna miss her and her craps! Haha. Considering whether to go for the Taiwan trip. I want to go for a getaway! Singapore is too boring! Maybe it's me who doesn't know how to make full use of my time. Gonna put in some effort for my future & spending!

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New love♪♫♬♥♥♥

2011-07-16T00:41:00.001+08:00

這樣愛你好可怕
作詞：林夕
作曲：GJ
編曲：劉志遠
是我說過分手以後要祝福大家
怎麼聽到你的喜訊我忽然靜下
我紅了眼睛黑著臉再不斷講話
你看在眼裡想到什麼何必問我
怎麼啦你還好嗎
你的快樂與我無關我就不快樂
我也失去繼續偽裝朋友的資格
我竟然希望他不夠好那就好了
你說不定會因此對我一直牽掛
這個我還值得你愛嗎
我虛偽我慚愧我嫉妒你幸福
你這個傻瓜　不要逼我說謊話
愛一個人是佔有　一點都不偉大
我醜惡我自私我認了看著你　容不下他
蹋地死心　原來出於私心
我也覺得我好可怕 (好可怕)
所謂祝福原來只是在爾虞我詐
關係昇華只是欲望垂死的掙扎
我甚至想過萬一你們開始吵架
在我們之間就能留下一條尾巴
這個我還值得誰愛嗎
那麼愛你卻寧願你寂寞
像這樣的愛好可怕

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Human nature to shit behind your back!

2011-07-12T16:13:00.001+08:00

Time shows 4:07pm and I'm blogging while working! Too bored. Yes I know that my blog have been long neglected by me! Than I shall update a little with pictures doing the talk. Life been the same just that my work routine have changed from night shift to a morning one. That's quite a hectic routine change cause I'm someone quite used to nightlife. Photoshoot with my fat boy!

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GSS craze and meeting up with my gf

2011-06-09T09:07:00.001+08:00

It's been a long while meeting and catching up with Connie and yesterday finally we met(: shopping plus gossiping till all shop closed and our bfs meeting us up after their work for late dinner @ swee choon for dim sum!!!!! Two girls together equals cam whoring session starts! Lol... Promised to meet her once a week so will really try not to don't meet her unless something crops up ya!

Love her max max! She's crazy just like me!

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missed

2011-06-03T13:20:00.002+08:00

went through so many stuffs from day to day, i still think that im missing you so much! should i make a decision about it? maybe i just should. i give up. what a jerk he is. i think is just that im too naive, time for me to leave for someone better. im happier that way.

我很闷!!!!!

2011-05-12T20:08:00.000+08:00

Bored so just do a few photos update(: I went to do a wedding photoshoot! The outcome may be very good cause I glance the pictures when the photographer was taking his solo shoot(:

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more photoshoot please(:

2011-04-18T17:55:00.003+08:00

went to collect my photos yesterday(: happy with the outcome and this is just a picture thats not edited(:

good skill so thumbs up for the photographer!!!!!

Neglected blog

2011-04-11T13:39:00.001+08:00

It's been so long I ever blog! Lol... Life's still the same. So nothing much for me to blog about. I'm doing another shoot on Wednesday! Happy can(: hope this will also be a nice one(:

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Hair spa& dinner!

2011-03-23T23:18:00.001+08:00

Went for hair spa at cookies and creme that's located at bukit timah. Shiok massage! Affordable price. Overall not bad huh! Cam whoring in car after the shiok shiok hair spa!

Yesterday brought my brother with us to central at Clarke quay for dinner! Mr curry! Love that but I still prefer shokudo more(: yesterday's bill was over 100 for dinner only! Faint! My bro and my fatfat can really eat alot! I told them after today's dinner I'm going broke!

Me and my youngest bro! He So big size right!

I forced them to take photo together lo! Lol...

See me n my fat fat! He funny hoh! Lol... Keep eat the ice cream and refuse to take pictures properly!
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Quick update

2011-03-17T00:13:00.001+08:00

Just some quick update. I'm just back from Malaysia for family gathering as everyone are having march break and I went for my photoshoot already! Not much happening thing so just a boring post ya! Lol...

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Sorry that I love you

2011-03-16T00:50:00.001+08:00

Love this song so think i should share(:
For all of the time that I tried for your smile
For making you think I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
that no one was there to take a stand
but the love love love made us blind
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it alright
so sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I loved you
sorry that I held you tight
and I'm sorry for making you love me and saying goodbye
for being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
for giving you every thing that you dreamed
for taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love for wasting your time
and I'm so sorry that I hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
so sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I loved you
sorry that I held you tight
an apology now after all of this time
won't make any difference tonight
but I'm hoping I'm sorry will open your mind
to love love love in your life
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
sorry that i hurt you
sorry that I fell through
sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that I came true
but sorry doesn't turn back time
I'm sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I hurt you
I'm so sorry that I loved you
i'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I loved you
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Photoshoot!

2011-03-15T02:10:00.001+08:00

Photoshoot la! Am tired will update with more pics soon(:

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Nothing is just so perfect!

2011-03-07T04:16:00.001+08:00

我最后的结局会是怎样？
I thought I was so strong that I could take-up all stress but infact I couldn't I was such a weakling. Maybe what I've done really hurt him but I'm just super confused right now! Tearing almost everyday! Stressed up but no one could really know how I felt! Yes I refused to share! I want things to be kept by myself in the deepest place of my heart. I want no one to see how heart wrench my heart is and I want no one to know how I was feeling cause I felt that it wont change the fact anyway. I'm really tired! I feel like leaving this pathetic island that is always in a fast pace and always that hectic! I need a good rest! A good sleep and I wanna be alone! Yes all by myself! Really tired...

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Life may vary everyday

2011-03-04T05:04:00.001+08:00

Hope to have a getaway trip soon to forget all the unhappiness. Hope to lead a normal day from today onwards. Love me the way I am! I'm just like that when I'm just a girl and my name's Faye sim!!!!!

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Trust that all my hopes comes true

2011-03-01T23:36:00.001+08:00

Can abracadabra and all my wish n hopes comes true infront of me? Ha I'm day dreaming so early in the night. I settled my transferring of course as I can't really cope with business management. Too bored for me! Hiak hiak... So I'm taking up accounting and hope that it really interest me. I'm a person that can't cope stress in a right way. I do silly things to vent anger and I cannot get bored with someone or place if not I would leave or make my way to somewhere else that interests me! I blog whenever I'm free or me remembering that I have one! I wish that time flies and am getting excited for the promised cruise trip(: I've never been to a cruise for my 20 years of life. So yes I'm silly smiling away when I'm promised about this trip n needless to say excited! Feeling lethargic now as my 大姨妈 came knocing at my door today huh!!!!! Moody moody feel... anyway am cheered up somehow or somewhat cause no point making life so miserable for life in Singapore is already so hectic and no point giving myself more stress n problems right? Lol... Ok stop all my whining and complaining ok! Love my life and cherish all those people around me now ok. Yes I'm a easily contented girl!!!!! And my lovable cousin bought me this!!!! My favorite cartoon character yo!

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Disappointed with BMW at leng kee

2011-02-24T09:38:00.001+08:00

I just find it damn stupid that when my father drove his car for servicing, he left his golf brolly in the car and after a few days of servicing, the brolly is missing, even when the car Is ready for collection, no one called up and their device line is just for show! For 10 over minutes, no one would picked up the call. How great is their service!
If I pay for servicing would I need to tip them with the brolly! Things should be in place upon collection isn't it? Waste of my time that I need to travel down for an umbrella! Shit service!

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2011-02-19T04:47:00.001+08:00

原来爱的是你不是他...
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AWaiting for time to pass

2011-02-17T07:22:00.001+08:00

I think that I myself have been into the insomnia state hurhur T.T I just can't fall asleep no matter how hard I try. Maybe I'm already not usd to sleeping at my own house? I've not been sleeping at my own place for about 3 months I guess. My bed now is slept by my granny as she's here to stay for Chinese new year and at the same time waiting for my brother to book out tomorrow!!!!! It's been a hectic week for me! I guess I've to make a decision quickly. It won't be fair to anyone If I'm stuck in this kinda of indecisive stage! Today will be 元宵节. Everybody will be enjoying their 汤圆session with their family and the last reunion dinner before Chinese new year officially ends. For me, this year's resolution is:
•My class 3 licence
•finish my course at BMC as I've wasted lots of money for paying I decisive courses that I would like to take I. The first place but regretted in the end.
•finish my certificate for my nail diploma
•and last but not least my Audi r8
Am I too 贪心？ whatever it is. These are my wish and resolutions for 2011

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Angry

2011-02-14T23:18:00.001+08:00

It's just time for revenge! Walk off with tears that I held back not wanting them to come rolling down my cheeks. Maybe that's just life. Bear with it and everything will be just fine. On this earth there's alot of rich people trying to proof that they're very rich! Ahhhah! Rich people doesn't need to tell the whole world that they're damn rich! This just claims that they lack self confidence! Fuck them and I hate them! Thew lei Lou mo!!!!! _|_
Me with my naked face!!! Lol...
Happy valentine day to all out there!!! By the way, this year's valentine sucks big time!!!!!

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I wanna have a shopping spree!!!!!

2011-02-11T16:52:00.001+08:00

I miss the days shopping at KL!!! I frequent to KL for this one year! Four trips altogether in less than a year's time! I'm madly in love with there! Hope I travel up soon again(:

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Waiting

2011-02-07T23:32:00.001+08:00

Waiting for lover boy to be done with his bro in law's bike. So me blogging away in the car and I find that I start getting addicted to blogpress love it as I can blog as and when I like!!!!! boring... Can someone entertain me??? Hurhur T.T

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Starry starry night out

2011-02-07T02:48:00.001+08:00

On our way in to jb to pump petrol. Have lots of update that should be blogged and I haven't done them...

Happy Chinese new year

2011-02-07T02:39:00.001+08:00

Today is chu 4 and am busy helping out at my father shop from the start of chu xi! Hope all of you have a great new year and win lotsa of money and get many many angbaos(:

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小出血哪!!!!!

2010-12-31T12:49:00.006+08:00

Last saturday did not have class as it 's a public holiday. Met sherlyn and went shopping at bugis! bought quite a number of loots. My boy was with her hubby and they picked us up at bugis. Ahahahas...

Loverboy bought me my Olympus Pen EP-L1 for christmas pressie:D!!!! was damn happy and the pictures uploaded are all taken by my new camera :D

Went for dinner at Lavender foodcourt and Massage session At WOONG'S located at siglap! we're given a room to ourselves at 2nd floor! We are all joking and crapping to ourselves! our volume are considered loud but who cares right! we're there to relax moreover we're given a room to ourselves so make full use of it :D

cam-woring after lesson&expo!

2010-12-20T11:20:00.003+08:00

Flooding my pictures in this empty space! Some people are just too fake! can't be bothered! Life's like that, accept it or leave it and i chose to leave it and treat those people with a can't be bothered attitude!

Life's like that!

2010-12-20T10:55:00.003+08:00

it's that idiot birthday and you guys can see how they K.O.-ED!!!!! we help them all the way to cab than all the way to amara hotel! LOL~

I'm Back!

2010-12-16T13:25:00.002+08:00

Been too lazy to blog! Insane and engrossed nails that causes me no time to update. went to the new shopping centre at serangoon, nex shopping mall. watched rapunzel. thumbs up! lesson every saturday and shopping for the weekend(: Photoshoot onthe 29th! excited ka! will upload more pictures next time!

BYE~

Intimately close

2010-11-16T11:15:00.002+08:00

Busy Bee

2010-11-10T10:16:00.002+08:00

Have been very busy recently! school, driving lesson, nail class and doing my nail assignment. I'm a busy bumble bee! Super tired! think i need a good rest after the assignment. update again(:

why is this life?

2010-10-21T18:19:00.004+08:00

Im thinking so much about what i wanted and why am i in this dilemma. Getting back my memory from my old lappy. played the songs. i wanna break down. haven't done that for a long time alone being so emo thinking so much! what i really wanted? i don't know. Looking back at the photos of me and my friends, my cam-whoring pics. really took up alot of space just for pictures! isn't it abit hilarious. used to be like a small girl but now, i'm force to face the reality! i have really grown up alot. yes what past is past. no use thinking so much and looking back. i am still me, the girl who used to talk alot, with bad tempered, emotional and abit bitchy! ha yes cause i like to bitch about others alot(:

Faded~

2010-10-15T12:05:00.002+08:00

I have been obsessed with puzzles recently! bored as i have quitted my last job, its really not a job for human. its mental torture! ha... feel like going overseas for a short trip. singapore is too boring la! which country is better? bangkok? genting?

save me!

2010-10-04T12:43:00.000+08:00

omg someone please save me! I'm bloody bored to the core! Working was like hell! Really come here sleep! See what, its quite a impolite thing to be sleeping infront of the boss right? Now I'm controlling my eyes from shutting down! Omg! Tell me how how how to not fall asleep at such boring environment! ):

im bored!!!!!

2010-08-12T16:20:00.004+08:00

Damn bored. he is going for his RT later. argh! i need to find my own entertainment. ha! think should be going shopping after i apply fo my japanese lesson. should i go back for pole dancing? Cam-whoring cause im damn bored while he's sleeping! ha waking him up soon! he's the biggest idiot!

love that bitch(:

2010-08-08T13:48:00.005+08:00

went out with my sister today(: shopping to hunt for her heels that she needed for esthetic night which is a event held by her school! on that day she went to meet her idiotic friends first and while waiting for her, me & him went to eat at shokudo! yum yum!

another saturday

2010-07-29T02:09:00.007+08:00

saturday as usual met up with his friend went shopping cause they going reservice soon and so coincidence is that his best friend and him are at the same camp. good for him than, won't feel bored! shopped at fareast plaza and ate there.

cam whoring while he's driving and difference in clothing is because i went home to change into the dress i wanna wear initially is not at his place! ha. i know im damn ma fan!

see his fat tummy so fat can! cause whatever i can't finish he eat! OMG!
cam whoring in Ion lift! i know i know in crazy!

look at my retarded face. taken during dessert time at bugis!(: after that home sweet home with him after sending his friends home!

KL trip

2010-07-16T02:45:00.007+08:00

Reached KL very late cause im late again! ha, ok travelling there in my cousin's car for about 3-4hrs? reached there check in hotel and prepared myself. went around the shopping centre there. after that at night went to to club. i forgot the name of it but my cousin was familiar with KL so she's the tourguide of the 2d1n trip and i will be the tourist following wherever she takes me to(:

omg i look damn fat in this pic! fats i hate you deep deep!
ha you see this guy pua chu deng lol!

on the way back to s'pore dining at a fastfood restaurant that extinct from s'pore! nice nice! sorry not much pic cause most of the pic are taken by my instant print cam(:

2010-07-13T13:13:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the dead blog! will update on my KL trip and its my first one as i have never been to KL ha! Been like a besy bumble bee! ha(:

Depressed & confused!

2010-06-08T12:35:00.004+08:00

i think i should just relax my mind soon! not wanting to think too much, seriously i know im getting in the state into depression! its a big courage to abort him/her. i don'teven know the gender. remembering how i cried so hard in the clinic even before the doctor dare putting in the medication for me to create a miscarriage on purpose cause he say im not stable in my state of mind. he ask me if i really wanted to do that. i nodded my head while tears flow down. i can't bear to part but i know i have to do that. there are times i really wanted to go look for my baby. i may be laughing, playing, dancing, joking and drinking like nothing else happened but in fact my heart's bleeding. nobody would know the feeling more than i do cause the baby is in my tummy but not anyone's elses. i play everynight to numb myself. i don't even dare to be alone or sleep in the night. i won't sleep but think think and think. even he doesn't get to know the feeling well though he might be sad. its those kind of bonding that you can't imagine. its so amazing knowing its inside you growing. the last day i saw her/him, is already 2.19cm(aroung that size, forgot) big. i saw the heartbeat blinking on the screen again and its the last time. i know i won't be able to see him/her again any in the future. baby mummy really love you! pictures of you is so heart wrenching. remember me and come back to be my baby in the future alright?!

♥MISSESss & LOVESss♥

life still goes on.

2010-05-06T02:17:00.004+08:00

baby, you're making mummy nauseas recently. ha im very happy that you react in my tummy, you still cramp abit here and there. it shows that you're growing and moving. you're leaving me less than a weeks time. sorry for that decision. i know its cruel. i hate myself for doing that too. your daddy seems to not care much though he say he does. i've been sleeping soundly with you companion. haven't thought of the day that you would leave me sleeping all alone by myself. still remember the day i knew i was pregnant with you, i was happy and at the same time don't know how to face my parent. baby, will you miss me like how i would like miss you in the future. sorry baby, i really really hate myself, your mummy is useless that you're not healthy even before you're born. sorry, i know no tears could make up this decision to you. mummy would always love you.

to my dearest baby

2010-05-04T16:04:00.003+08:00

Baby is not that mummy don't want you. forgive me for this decision. If you were healthy in my tummy i would surely bring you to this world. but there were chances that you will become abnormal, even doctor say most people would abort. i really can't bear to be apart with you. you live in my tummy for almost 2mths. looking at the ultrasound pictures i really couldn't hold back my tears. i wish that you're just like any other healthy baby coming into this world. if you were to come out to this world, dec-jan will be your due date. baby, mummy am really sorry for this decision made. i don't wish to bring harm and hurt into your life. baby you must understand that the hurt in my heart can't be compared to any nor anyone will understand. the tears that i've shed for you is nothing compared to the fact that you would leave my tummy in a few days time. i really can't bear to part with you. baby, can you let me know what to do? you used to be my strength, but now, i've got nothing. im really getting so crazy only beacuse of you. im still in a dazed and i don't know what to do. baby i can feel you growing even when im blogging now. i think i really need a bit more time to pick myself up. baby remember mummy always love you and have always kept you in my heart even if you were no longer in me.

movie date

2010-03-29T22:03:00.007+08:00

saturday went out with him and his friends ha! went to bedok for dinner than to tampines mall for KL drift 2 lame show... so fake! everything in malay so everything was subtitles and subtitles(:

getting abit crazy that night! took lots and lots of photo with my new instant print camera with hello kitty and mickey mouse films. after the movie went to nearby coffeeshop to slack slack slack and slack! ha! homed arnd 5am! thumbs up(:

P/S: happy 6th monthsary((((((: !!!!!!

我不再想爱了

2010-03-20T00:35:00.002+08:00

我们现在不一样

以后也会是这一样

我不再盼望什么因为我不再有希望

我只能默默地为你祈祷

希望你能过得更好

我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪

dazed

2010-03-02T14:53:00.003+08:00

everything have been happening unexpectedly. ha should i say that everything is ending soon. i guess i need some breathing space. im worn out. i need a break. 1 week quarrel 3-4 times. ha. its not something i wanted. just something simple is what i needed. im so afraid that my heart died. ha nothing i've done is correct. you've changed 360 degrees. but you claimed you haven't. i know the changes. i can see and feel it. these few days i just kept quiet upon any quarrels. i think its the best solution to prevent world war 3. i really pity myself. haix, fuck it. live your live to the fullest(:

P/S: i love faye sim(:

Fucked up new year

2010-02-16T16:15:00.002+08:00

have been wondering whats the meaning of love. maybe im just not up to being in a r/s. ha tired of all those rubbish. cocked up new year. chu xi, there's some idiot picking fight. to me. what can be solve by money is not a problem but i just don't understand some people's mindset that why must there be people badmouthing people behind their back and the person got aimed was me when i didn't even touch the electricity. ha!

whatever i've done are all rubish. ha don't talk to me bout marriage again. i guess im quite pathetic. i pity myself. again and again, my heart turned cold, my feelings are numb,smiles i wear are so stiff. its not the real meanymore. falling sick soon. felt the heat from my body these few days. down with flu and sore throat. quite disappointed. ha maybe we're meant to be. as time pass by i think it'll just fade. that word hurts. its the first time he ever said that, guess what. i think im too naive.

原来我不是想象中那么幸福...

cny is coming~

2010-02-10T15:34:00.003+08:00

chinese new year is coming. ha. more more angbaos plz(: busy busy week. pack stuffs. cleanup bedroom(:

hmmm... actually have been thinking and worrying about my relationship and stuffs. actually im really tired of all of that. i've learn to love someone. actually was disappointed in things his ex told me about him. had emo-ed enough for 1 whole week. quarrels and moving out and in his house. tears flooded. till than when i cried, he did not even intend to tame me down but just leave me aside. decided to give up the thought for caring too much. actually till now i should be quite numb with guys and relationship. yes!? i should put it in another way. he's the unlucky one. read his blog. he thinks of his ex when he's down. ha meaning his heart is still with her. im not thinking too much. its just a fact. i think its also time for me to let go. he needs peace, so do i. he's coming out soon. on the 20th. i guess i also have let him off my heart. his thing are still with me and he doesn't even know im attached to another guy already. guess im in hot soup now. nah~ just chuck that issue aside. sorry to say that i've been hurt thousand of times that my heart is numb.

~yawns~

i guess i just need to catch some rest.

Nitex all yo~_~

worn out

2010-01-30T12:11:00.006+08:00

i think im quite a loser in r/s. im very worn out by all the quarrels and mouth bickers! i had enough. im not in my tip top condition recently. emotions swinging here and there. im giving up yes i am. i don't really know what i wanted. i can't feel anything anymore. well guess im really disappointed this time. yes i once thought he's the best and still hope that my thught is still right. i hate that feeling. maybe im really fated to be single? ha! ~_~ am really in a confuse state of mind right now. no assurance nor enough assurance will calm my mind now. i guess i really need some peace. quarrels happened everyday. it has become like everyday's meal. i missed the days working at bq. i have been crying my eyes sore everynight. refusing to admit or give in to the changes. nothing will remain the same forever. but i guess i just have to admit that things changes so does human. i refuse to heed anyone's advice about guys. now i really lose to my own stubborness. yes its only me and myself that i can blame. for whatever thing that happens in the future. i will take up all responsibility.

went to punggol marina with him and his friends yesterday. drink, drank, drunk! sing, sang, sung! too lazy to write any further. let pictures do the talking? everything seems so nice and sweet in the pictures! ha!?

no makeup on hope i don't scare you guys ha(:!

P/S: i hope someone can guide me through walking down this road.

its a new year!

2010-01-18T13:39:00.009+08:00

Its year 2010 already(: new start of the year. yea i know i know that im late for this update! whatever i don't care(: didn't celebrate much. he brought me to see fireworks ha! didn't manage to capture any photos on it.

afew days ago went bugis walk walk shop shop(: ha! yea he treat me good good! think i won't regret being with him ba? i guess. but there's a bitch standing in my way. ha

pictures taken in car on the way to bugis ha! keep disturbing him(:

Quote of the day :

你知道为什么他要我不要你吗? 因为连我现在没化妆都比你美. 身材比你好. 现在他是我的, 你有本事就跟我抢(: (this is what i say infront of her too)

that bitch with makeup. i realise something, all her photos doesn't have full face picture! ha, maybe she's too fat to show her full image. yea i saw her in real life. she's not just fat but ugly too(: she sililar to ugly betty just that she doesn't have braclet on her teeth... omg im a mean mean meanie(:

me with makeup! ha not saying that i very pretty but she really BUANG!!!!! muahahahs... OMG so bad but i like ha! :D

im so angry cause she say im a free fuck *roll eyes* than wad is she? a $1 FUCK?! PLK!!!!!

P/S: hey bitch! i will be waiting for you at your ex place anytime which is now my current bf! _l_ this is for you(:

worn out

2009-12-23T18:25:00.002+08:00

actually right from the start i think i have made wrong decisions about my life. am really worn out of all those stuffs named "relationship" really tired me out. i think my brain and body needs a good rest from all these. maybe love is not meant to be in my life. ha maybe too hurt to believe in any of these. no more confidence in that term or get into one anymore. i think i sholud just go re-take 'o' levels. ha. i know its abit too late but late than never right?(:

im off to watch my hongkong series drama(:

tata~

so slack

2009-12-08T14:19:00.004+08:00

ha. have not been working for so long. slack slack and slack! tired of working! ha. i think im getting over him already. am happy *laughs* have live my life happily all these while ha! yes something happened in between and that cause me t0 forget about him. im not sure bout my current r/s yes i know i've been in and out of a r/s very fast ha! im boring these few days. no transport cause vehicle was damaged in the accident. sian. going out was so troublesome so stayed at home and marathon 'born rich'(:

went out with him and his friend yesterday and his friend drove a BMW sports car * i don't know what series. ha* we saw when walk out of lift and my 1st reaction was which siao kia drive bmw come here! ha!

halloween~

2009-11-07T10:23:00.004+08:00

late to post for halloween! i know im super late ha(: okok whatever. late than never right?(: so bored recently! ha. let the photos entertain you guys than(: im away to tudou already

ciao~

he really looks alot like that someone really haix...!

so unhappy

2009-10-30T07:27:00.002+08:00

thinking of changing work place, seriously! After whiskey and QB becomes one everything changes! waitress sucks hard times!): i can't stand certain people in my workplace! so what if you can sai nai to the max? selling more LDs so? big fuck? so damn pissed! treating regular bad, giving high prices for alcohol juz to gain the commission! WTF!!!?? whatever. im tired. just wakeup to bathe and blog a wee bit(:

2009-10-28T06:24:00.003+08:00

ha. its been sometimes since i last blogged(: have been busy with work work & work! ha! finally had time to blog! im bored! ha... monday, i went to visit him! he thinned alot, seeing him like that hurt me alot really! i didn't even dare to look at him straight in the eyes. i feelt like i owed him alot alot, more than money could repensate. i wanted him so badly now! could time turn back? i regretted doing lotsa of stuffs! i hate the present i want the past! numbed with work! drink drank drunk! happy on the appearance only! what have happened, this is so not me):

I WANT YOU~!

why is the feeling still there?

2009-10-06T04:15:00.002+08:00

why am i still thinking of you whenever your name is mentioned? can i stop having that feeling? haix... i thought working can stop me from thinking. what has happened to me):? i detest this kinda of feeling! really! slap me please someone!): although times we've been together is short but memories you gave is great!

想跟我吵架我没那么无聊
不懂得道歉我没那么聪明
好想要回到我们的原点

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰
我又在摇头有那么点后悔
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口
两颗心能塞几个问号
爱让我们流多少眼泪

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

bye singapore~

2009-09-28T03:08:00.002+08:00

Yea im going malacca in less than 3hrs time! im gonna shop till i drop drop drop(: muahahas... after im back gonna look for my colleague! promise her le(: super shag! didn't sleep the whole night not cause im excited but im a night life creature! today's my off day so chill and nua at home the whole day! wanted to do many things but forgot all about it in my dreamland!*laughs*

blog more when im back! ciao~ don't miss me:D

neglected~

2009-09-22T05:23:00.003+08:00

Haaas... its been so long ever since i blogged! neglecting my blog already! hmmm... have been busy working(: happy $$$$$ okiies but today sucks! abit of conflict. i felt so bad cause initially the thing starts with me!): okiies sry for that issue really! i don't mean and don't know it will become so=.=''' haix... work's good! but sales super bad): okiies whatever! anyway im just home from work and blogging at 5:25am! lolx... tomorrow another working day): wednesday is my off! yea! malaysia trip with huijia maybe only cause she jio me de! haaas... if not i going in myself(: shopping for me too yea! *laughs*

sick!!!!!

2009-09-15T14:23:00.004+08:00

im down with fever for 4 days already!): i wanna recover soon! i feel so irritated my my nose, flu and sore throat): whatever! my aunt bought a new dog and her name is dodo! how cute(: im starting to miss my colleague! haix... nevermind! tomorrow gonna start work already(: happy! i super xiong de! sick also go work till cannot tahan! lolx. =.='''

P/S: loosing something doesn't mean that you lost the whole world but you may gain something more out from that loosing!

living to the fullest!

2009-09-14T04:58:00.002+08:00

im living my life to the fullest recently. knowing who is the right peron and right job for me(: im happy with my life now! knew more great people!(: hmmm... just back from bq again i know i know! haaas...
你说了一万遍的你爱我
你说了什麽我都懂
因为爱很久所以我都懂
可是我发现没人能永久
就算我们曾勾勾手还是会寂寞
没有你之后我才明白的更多
你看着我来我看着你走
生命有太多分分合合难免要承受的痛
你看着我来我看着你走
就算捂住耳朵我还能听见你呼吸的温柔
就算我会心痛你的好永远都填满我心中

P/S: should i still...? too much to consider):

hyprocrite!!!!!

2009-09-09T16:10:00.005+08:00

OMG i just can't people being so hyprocrite! no names will be mentioned here but *yucks yucks* don't steb one kind when you're not that kinda of person! whatever i saw and whatever i know just don't tele and it just makes me wanna puke, felt so disgusted for those actions done! i cannot stand people so fake! haaas... leave miles away from me please! and _l_ is for you(: i don't care if we contact anyway(: it doesn't matter much to me! haaas...i don't need a friend like you!!! SHOO~

okiies don't spoil mood over this kinda of person!(: went to ph yesterday with lydia and huijia! haaas... stayed throughout till the party ended. had fun, saw alot of familiar faces! haaas... got one stupid bastard trying to touch me! fucking wait long long! face buang still want come club xian charbo! please go home take a mirror and look at yourself! haaas... in the end he went hugging the girl beside me! my tian*faints* got so hungry anot?*LAUGHS* had supper at my shop! something happened during entry! _l_ is for the fking bouncer! even the management say why did the bouncer make a big fuss over a teeney weeney thing! *LAUGHS*

P/S: please leave me alone cause i don't ever need someone like you in my life!!!!! :D

off day~

2009-09-06T04:27:00.003+08:00

tomorrow gonna be my off day and i just got home from makan session with my cousin(: i did something that made me fear that would anything happen to me in the future? i told my family members and my close friends about the phone call issue that happened during this wednesday that just passed! the thought of it made me scare though in front of my friends i told them nothing! okiies whatever! happen le then da suan ba! haaas... im really shag and tired! been workin for continously 4 days with insufficient sleep! and im happy tomorrow i can rest to the max! i wan my beauty sleep! *laughs*

will update a proper one tomorrow! my eyelids are drooping already):

P/S: that someone pissed me off! laughed my ass off while reading the letter! we're finished means we're finish why can't just let me off and keep pestering me with the weekly letters?

before work(:

2009-09-04T02:21:00.004+08:00

Hmmm...started work on tuesday(: happy! cam-whored using my new phone! presenting my samsung omniaII! Good working environment and nice colleague there whats more?(: am happy with everything currently going on in my life right now great friends and family around me supporting whatever i do(: have already gotten over everything(: we're both happy people now if im not wrong, take care ba(: always your friend! just a call or text away(: will always be your listening ear if you don't mind sharing(:

tomorrow gonna start work late cause ending late too): but the good part is i can sleep a wee bit longer*laughs*! alright, i just reached home gonna bath, blog again(:

bye readers~

曲终人散

2009-09-01T04:06:00.002+08:00

你让他用戒指把你套上的时候
我察觉到你脸上复杂的笑容
那原本该是我
付予你的承诺
现在我只能隐身热闹中
我跟着所有人向你祝贺的时候
只有你知道我多喝了几杯酒
我不能再看你
多一眼都是痛
即使知道暗地里你又回头
我终于知道曲终人散的寂寞
只有伤心人才有
你最后一身红残留在我眼中
我没有再依恋的借口
原来这就是曲终人散的寂寞
我还想等你什么
你紧紧拉住我衣袖
又放开让我走
这一次跟我彻底分手

its a new start

2009-08-30T14:26:00.003+08:00

went out with lydia and huijia as usual(: hmmm...i think i almost got over everything jiayous faye(: went crazy that day. travelled to clarke quay, intend to go rebel but can't enter for they not 18 yet*laughs* nvm next year then i'll wait(: went to cine to catch final destination! we reached there at 12 plus but we could only get tickets for 2:15! imagine what we've been doing for this 2 hrs! *laughs* walked around slack here and there! bought drinks from 7eleven sat around again! cam-whored in toilets! haaas... anyway had fun with them la!(: been meeting up so frequently*i like* gossips, had fun, movies, munch munch!(: thnx guys love you both la(:

P/S: i almost got over you! hope you've been doing well too(:

it just hurt that bad!

2009-08-25T03:59:00.006+08:00

Its time i wake up from my stupidity(: finally after 2mths plus! i thought he was good but evidence told me he's just another "playboy". i tried to persude myself to believe that he was good and true to me and stuffs but why such things happen on me again and again? did i do something wrong to deserve all these? i hurt myself haaas... i find it stupid though after thinking back. at that point of time i know that you're worthy of those cuts but infact there's no who's right and wrong in a r/s many things i don't wanna know anymore but anyway thanks to my blog reader *i will not reveal his name here* for sending the email to me showing me those dark secrets volunteerily(: i've seen it and... anyway i thought about it over and over again! hmmm... im sleepy and heading to bed soon!(: i don't wanna talk about the same issue over and over again! its the heart that counts!

Here i wanna tell you is that thanks for the memories that i've been really happy is just the 1st mth of the whole relationship with no quarrels and bickers! times that you made me laugh myself silly! times that we watched movie together and things that you taught me, teaching me how to be stronger and more independent! i love you still but i know this time i really have to let go. i know this period would hurt but i still have to tolerate with it! you deserve a better girl cause for what i felt and saw*things* is that im not your perfect girl(: your heart haven't been with me all these while i know that myself. hope you really find your true love whom you really love wholeheartedly! YOU'RE BLESSED BY ME ALWAYS~ no matter what i know that i will be there for you if you need me in anytime, we're still friends if you still treat me as one cause i still do treat you as one(:! hope this is the last time im crying while blogging! take alot of good care(:

this have been my favourite qoute recently: what doesn't kills just makes me stronger!!!!!

its really time to let go, time can't turn back to change the reality so i just face everything bravely, i know friends will be there to support me no matter what(: i love my Co, and the most important my family cause no matter what i did and how many times i disappointed them, they have never ever gave up on me(:

P/S: i wanna breathe like how i used to :D

monday blues~

2009-08-24T15:24:00.004+08:00

its monday and its monday's blues~ omg another sian day! going out to look for job later): maybe ask my didi company me? heheees... don't know if he will want anot? im bored~ no job no income!): i sholud really look for a stable income job than slacking and lazing around and doing nothing. daddy and grandma is nagging at me to look for a job already! *laughs*

happy b'dae my precious(:

2009-08-23T15:37:00.006+08:00

22nd august '09 is my precious aunt's bdae clelebrated over mid-night! haaas... my relatives are all here!(: so happy about it. sholud me huijia, vanessa, lydia but in the end i asked them down to my shop to drink cause my cousin 不放人! say never 3am cannot go! haaas... okok you win i loose!

P/S: happy family & i hearts this(:

hatred turns sore~

2009-08-21T01:00:00.003+08:00

Blessings given to you. nothing much i wanna elaborate! hope she changes your life and is really who you wanted. you said that you were sick of what i do! okiies fine, you have temper so do i! look at how you treated me these few days. would you shout at her like that? i guess no(: im nothing and no one to you! pictures you put up, people come asking me, i can only keep mum. everyone assume she's your girlfriend(: well really hope she's another turning point in your life! i wish you all the best(: i need a peace of mind! NO MORE SORE EYES please! i guess its time for me to heal, taking out every single pain that stabbed through my heart! i love you for who you are but you're not loving me for who i am. i keep changing myself for you but ends up nothing appreciated. doing everything to make you happy but what i get is not what i expected. its alright! follow your heart, you can lie to the whole world but not yourself! know who you really wanted. be truthful to both of us at least once! you hate liars so do i!

i hate bitches

2009-08-19T01:25:00.003+08:00

Its time that everything fade and be back square one again! im seriously worn out give me a break please? follow your heart and i'll set you free. nothing gonna be perfect! im reaching my peak point of tolerance after what i saw. its not gonna be the same anymore i guess. hope time heals my heart. things will never be forgotten betrayal is the killer in a relationship! hope you really do know who you want! you can never get both at the same time. should should i not? set my heart free and not even a pinch hurt anymore. its not beating for anyone anymore! her heart has stopped beating at the point of time. no more tears would flow down. time heals! i can't be anyone's shadow! no one know how much it hurts! no more trying, no more crying! hush hush will ya?

anyway today's first day of work(: so tiring and its the first time i worked! haaas... i know i know keep comments to yourself!

heartbreaker~

2009-08-15T22:25:00.003+08:00

he said this pic is nice or the other one. can upload this only cause the other one too revealling he will not be happy! this is fine cause can't see anything!(:

hmmm...the way you beat my hands away just now hurt me in my heart but not my hands. tears dropped down, its the first time you did that. well, i volunteered to go home, i know whenever you're pissed you don't wanna see me. hmmm... i don't know why i got this weird feeling, these few days no matter what you never flare up. its weird, in the past when you're pissed you would just ignore me, scold me. is this sign a good one or bad one? is it that you tried to understand and give in or you already can't bothered to be angry with me anymore and giving up on me? *thinking* sometimes you really care alot but sometimes treatment different as in different from the past i will be scare! im strangely tired of things happening around me. i think i need a break soon! drinking and choosing to go out every single day till late in the night doesn't do me any good! things that i should give up i should, things i shouldn't i will continue holding on till i see results in it!
p/s: Faye's starting work on Monday! can she wake up on time for work? haaas! a good question indeed(:

things are coming back more to place?

2009-08-11T08:30:00.006+08:00

i talked to him today. alot of stuffs. finally he said out his problems. hmmm... actually the problem lies with me not him. im too paranoid, a small thing i can think till super big i also don't know why? think cause of past r/s that affect me. im changing alot on it already! im worst in the past. my surrounding people who are close to me can see the difference! i wanna be more understanding? i always remember that you once said cause that i appear, you're gonna be more hardworking in sales. haaas! i always remember this cause it may just slip out of your mouth but really meant alot to me! i thought everything is going to end soon but it just turned out to be a misunderstanding! i fking dumb for this misunderstanding to have even happen!

anyway i went shopping today effing spent 1k plus on clothing at paragon(: big smiley! i very long never shop le cause broke. today my daddy good mood for certain reason actually cause of me la!*laughs* he let me shopped!(: thnx daddy!

after that went naught girl a thai disco with my kor to look for his gf who is a thai girl working there! and its also my first time visiting thai disco which i find it quite fun and interesting! good experience!(:

p/s: pictures uploaded(: yea!

please put me to sleep!

2009-08-08T07:45:00.002+08:00

Till this hour i still can't sleep~ i needa my beauty sleep. i tried sleeping for an hour but in the end i gave up so i sat here infront of my lappy at the kitchen and watched the sun rise and the sky turn bright. why can't i just simply sleep?): nevermind! i suddenly miss shaker fries alot. 笑 how much more random can i be?(: im having hiccups right now due to drinking too much water and am listening to move, shake, drop! hey someone put me to sleep please if not i don't know how am i able to wakeup in the noon! i wanted to book for driving theory lesson but im afraid that i couldn't wakeup! its at 12:15pm but look at the time now, it shows 8am so how will i have enough sleep or even pull myself out of bed so forget about booking. ima 懒惰虫(: blogging will make me tired enough to put me back into bed?(: i guess so(: okiies finally at 8:05am faye's tired~ LAUGH OUT REAL LOUD! nitex guys(:

should i should i not?

2009-08-08T04:11:00.007+08:00

Always thinking about stuffs over and over again! eyes swollen like bloated flour. i cried alot but there'salot of people out there to pacify me. me not wanting to step out of the house for i am not feeling good as in bad mood! credit goes to connie, candy, vanessa, huijia and cheryl! i grumbled alot but they are just there to listen to me and not even say that im irritating! they may say behind me but at least not infront of me but infact im damn irritating repeating the same old thing again and again! But as what i've said, what doesn't kills me only makes me stronger! mok! you've been a great friend to me, don't say that you're not and you've been a great listener though its just a short chat we had(: haaas...! i know what you guys meant and advice are also for my good. am glad to have friends like them really! i love you guys okiies?(: friends forver! in the end went to meet my crazy co cause i can't sleep and will tend to do stupid things alone at home. they cheered me up, always saying and doing funny things. i am like a crazy woman wearing t-shirt and pants and a pair of slippers and off i went to central to meet them! haaas... cheryl say she's damn stun to see me dress like that w/o makeup somemore! no mood liao still makeup=.='''! lolx... talk alot than cab cheryl home than off we go to loyang to pray and off we went to eat prata but i drank soup only and walked abit and home-ed! i feel like im nobody's girl. i feel so unloved! *sigh*

(: nitex guys tired already! i wanna pig(: update again soon~

p/s: vanessa! as your wish i took out the photo already(: faster say thankyou! heheees...

happy day out~

2009-08-06T04:49:00.009+08:00

hmmm...yea la all the photos i've uploaded below! grab yourself okiies! haaas...! Last friday went out to meet my crazy co! endless fun with them(: hmmm...that aeroplane queen YEO JIAWEI put aeroplane again! *rawr* meet vanessa, huijia & Zhenjie at ILUMA first than fetch cheryl from outram stn and off we go to sabai! but sad thing is that we all can't enter cause only i am 18): saddened! nevermind than off to bq! haaas... what's up with all the twist i have posed during picture times! =.=''' i don't know why too! muahahhas!

cam-whore! haaas...bitch! the photos i upload le hoh!

wu zhen jie! sisters forever hoh! haaas...! think he will kill me when he saw this sister forever thingy cause i always say he's my sister than he will be going who's your sister la! lolx...LAME!

huijia the gaming queen can! we played ddr she 1 person played 4 arrows, we 3 person played 4 arrows! so funny and ps lo! she played this guitar, don't know how many hundreds combo! im so stunned and sat behind her and watched her play throughout the game! haaas! my gaming idol! lolx...nvm but undeed we had fun that day! went crazy at iluma's arcade!

p/s: 我能用一万个理由来爱你, 也能用一万个理由来恨你!

distanced

2009-08-05T13:59:00.004+08:00

i seriously think that we've distanced. nevermind. forget it! its been part of my life being neglected. its okiies! i used to it! i going prepare, going in jb le. i know our relationship is so shaky now. anyway, do take alot of care of yourself. i know you wouldn't want to see me for the time being! haaas... okiies fine with me. actually i think i know but i choose to bluff myself. loving you is just like catching the stars from the sky. so hard. i just need something simple. i don't need something so complicated... if you have already no love towards me please let me know, if you love some other girls already plz let me know. i don't want to be any person's shadow. im so stressed up. haix. you gave me a feeling that yor're not interested in this relationship anymore): i don' wanna think so much ba.*sigh*

unsure

2009-08-05T04:27:00.011+08:00

Thoughts have been lingering in my mind for throughout the day. i know things have been going and turning the wrong way out. i felt so restless, i hope time can turn back and i can put everything properly back to place again. i know that you're still somehow angry with me. you told me that day its me who did wrong and i can only tolerate for the time being for whatever that's happening. understood. everything's been so numb that's happening around me, can i know when's the last time that i really laugh wholeheartedly? yes i may look as if im a happy go lucky girl from the outside and im not as strong as you guys thought i am! i wanna cry my lungs out right now! i wanna bury myself in bed whole day long not wanting to know when's day and night! i just simply need a simple love story. no complication, no hard feelings, i know mouth bickers and quarrelling with tears and getting drunk for each other is normal in a relationship. i just want it simple can i have one? i regretted alot of stuffs. i know that's its my fault for being in this situation! im sorry i'll never want stupid things to happen to make you angry again! i know nothing can turn time back. i can just wait in silence for you to turn your heart back. i kept telling everyone that i will not shed a tear but im crying now while blogging im sorry i teared, im so weak i hate myself being so weak. i fell down hard this time but i will learn to stand on my own feet again(: guys, don't ask me what happen please. only close friends know what happened. i just wanna keep myself away from the outside world right now. if i never answer your call or reply msges im sorry! i deeply apologise here! let me be alone for the time being. i might not be in town for the time being.(except for you, i will not mia from you of course!)

p/s: 我很想用微笑代替眼泪但我知道我办不到, 我没你想向中坚强! 我真的很想抱紧你不放手!

im nothing~

2009-08-02T05:11:00.003+08:00

hmmm...i know that i made you angry and sad. i know whatever i do now can't turn time back anymore to unmend this situation that we're going through. im sad im crying but who knows. i have to act as if i don't care infront of everybody but who knows im bleeding in my heart. i wanna hear the truth, i know truth hurts but i still choose to know it. its the first time you asked to to go home. its the first time you shouted break. its something that really hurt me. i wanna recall our past. it seems beautiful? hmmm... i know you wanna cool down.

p/s:除了你之外还有谁能来教我爱. 即使你真的要离开我, 我还是要谢谢你陪了我那么久, 给了我那么多的回忆.

am i thinking too much?

2009-07-30T23:27:00.003+08:00

eawent to buy stuffs for making jelly and back home. wanted to go m'sia but he don't allow so home. wanted to make jelly but too tired and fall asleep. promise that i will do it tomorrow!(:

hmmm...i've got a feeling that's so wierd that you don't wanna tell me you went out just to play. i just wanna let you know that its fine with me although you promised you will bring me out to play but never its also okiies with me cause you've got your own friends and company too and thats understandable. just that i don't want any lies when you out with your friend just to have fun cause its okiies with me. im not out there to restrict you or tie you down. you also let me out with my own friends so why can't you am i right? im fair cause you've always been fair to me. its the same that you don't like me to lie to you and i also don't like you to lie to me. hmmm...maybe im thinking too much again...haix! needa get to sleep early. tomorrows' schedule packed! 2 interviews at one shot! evening meeting my crazy group(: i miss secondary school life! hope tomorrow comes faster and goes slower(:

in a whirl~

2009-07-30T03:53:00.005+08:00

I seriously don't know what am i up to recently. i want a decent job with proper income. no more quarrels nor doubt with bf. hmmm... i know im up to rubbish nowadays. stressed and confused. sometimes feeling not wanting to care about any single thing anymore but end up worrying more. i need more rest as i've been lack of sleep these few days, playing too much and hard. im so emotional at times that i tend to tear for no reason. i feel so insecure thats the reason to make me 想爱又不敢放手真正去爱. im sorry but i really don't know how much i stand in your heart anymore, you gave me a feeling that with me and without me, life would be the same for you. its painful thinking about this but the fact is i still love you as much as before as how i used to love you. i will always love you as how i always do! will you be the same too?

p/s: 即使我不能做你的永远但庆幸的是我是你的曾经, 我还会是你的远吗?

drink, drank, drunk

2009-07-28T00:20:00.003+08:00

when bq afew days back, haaas! since so long ever since i go there cause i gt back my freedom le(: im free once again(:

nothing much to blog about, hope days will be fine but not counting down. whatever it is i still love to drink drank drunk! when someone got drunk my true emotions will be revealled but i want none of you to see me like that yo! haaas...! im not abit happy with my life): kill me someone! imma abit crazy yo! haaas... whatever! i like myself i love me being crazy!:D

and

malaysia club/pub is like that? haaas... HOLA~ there got girl de and the girl there alot CMI! i see already also turn off! i don't understand why the guys can hug de xia qu! muahahas... im so so bad(: nono! imma a good girl!

unfamilarise~

2009-07-26T04:58:00.003+08:00

everything seems so unfamilarise to me. you're like so cold towards me. is it me or you? hmmm... or is the feeling not right anymore? i feel so far away from you, its like i don't know you anymore. we are not strangers! why are we like one? i know you still care but is there still the love you once had towards me still there in your heart i don't know! i hope so! you still make me laugh and disturb me like before but sometimes i don't know what is in your mind. hope everything is still fine and we will still hold on to each other like how we promised! you've said before we will be holding on to each other till the day you live this world is the promise still valid till today? i know that there's something going on in your mind, i know i can't help much but i also do hope that im the one that gave you strength to move on(:

p/s: i love you and i really do!♥

可不可以爱我?

2009-07-25T04:01:00.001+08:00

为什麽如此的安静
为什麽明明想靠近却还在迟疑
努力的我保持镇定努力开拓话题
最後却溃不成军

为什麽如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛怎麽都是你

你可不可以爱我可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过
告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑能告一段落

你可不可以爱我可不可以看我
反正看或不看我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我快乐还是寂寞

为什麽如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛怎麽都是你

想念燃烧个不停
我快只剩灰烬
你是我的呼吸

im wrong

2009-07-23T02:10:00.003+08:00

Hmmm...everything turned out the wrong way, im sad yes i am! anyway tired just got home from a fun and sad karoake session): haix... sing song sing till cry. whatever don't wanna elaborate anymore. yes i feel so damn good after crying. my eyes are swollen and damn pain right now and the worst part is im wearing contact lenses! anyway i've think through times and times...haaas! i know what myself want already? i don't know la! say know actually is don't know. my cousin and her hubby pacify me like a small kid cause any song just made my tears flow down! it just reminds me of our happy past. i regret saying that i wanna go k=.=! yes i drank abit only(: just to make me feel sleepy and fall asleep faster without thinking that much? haaas... i sound retarded do i? whatever it is, what done cannot be undone. what mistaken cannot be unmistaken. its just another walking path for me to grow up in life. i know and understand it by now whereby its somehow too late? im just a girl *laughs* im sad but im trying to put up a strong front laughing infront of everyone. why am i doing that? i am not faye anymore! faye's DEAD!

tired

2009-07-21T17:32:00.004+08:00

Don't plan to go out today. stayed at home and rot! no programme at night also cause its tuesday only...hmmm! friend ask me out to chill out later i say i don't want! cause i still feel like vomitting still drink? just get back freedom cannot misuse one!(: and somemore is guy ask me out think that idiot will kill me if i go and will have more quarrels and misunderstanding which i don't wish for and i don't want make trouble so better stay at home! *laughs* be a good girl cause im feeling so restless today. maybe later going out to buy lipbalm for him and i want almond milktea(: i feel like vomitting! i swear im not gonna drink beer again cause it sucks! oh ya yesterday cousin drove me out from malaysia, yea malaysia again! got problem? haaas...ate and drank at my shop! having hangover right now despite 5 bottles of yakult): my daddy say i crazy drink so many bottles of yakult! hmmm...okiies la at least drink liao also feeling better than keep wanting to vomit!(: i can't eat, i can't drink): i wanna smoke! hope i feel better after smoking not feeling worst ba! haaas... okiies i gonna prepare to go out to get that idiot his lipbalm already blog again later yo(:

malaysia~

2009-07-18T02:18:00.002+08:00

im back from malaysia! hmmm... yes i went there myself to find my ahma(: haaas... actually main motive is to shop but nothing caught my eyes*pout* but i did pedicure there! the workmanship is okiies there just the attitude of the boss as if i owe her zi ba ban like that! i shopped with my love lisa n her hubby! in the end i never buy anything but she is the one who does shopping spree=.=''' i want shop shop again next week la!*cheeky smiles* am so bored now! dd been sweet recently!(: did you do anything wrong? muahahhas... okiies la don't disturb you liao who ask you keep disturb me? muahahhas...!

many things been running through my mind and amm giving serious thoughts about those stuffs. really! i don't wanna think so much la! so fan!): i wanna be happy girl yo!(: no i should say imma happy girl!(:

one monthsary~

2009-07-16T21:23:00.007+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a few days? haaas... my lappy is at dear dear house and im using my bro's lappy to blog! im effing BORED! i so bored till i bully waffle by tying up his hair! lolx...

happy 1 monthsary to me and dear dear!

15th june 2009~

had a tiff with him yesterday which is our monthsary! yea he keep say i very gong gong one keep listen to others than ask him funny question! haix... i make him damn sad yesterday yes! also due to me too pressurized leh! i don't know why these few days having big big mood swing! yesterday i said something bad. hmmm... he's super sweet yesterday and talk to me nice nice! hope he's always like that when im a good girl(: hope that we'll be always counting on! i want to! DO YOU STILL WANT? i don't know why im so distracted i feel so lost and keep crying till yesterday(: i feel so relieved after the quarrel though is the 1st quarrel we had! its like a big putting down a big stone in my heart(: i love yop dd and never will i doubt on it again! (: our promises! hooked fingers!

~放生~
是我太过爱你愿意放生你

无谓你抱阵我也这么的晦气

我亦算知丑无谓强迫你

难道要我对着你句句要生要死

就当爱错了你就当放生你

无谓你说话里有这么多怨气

我就放开手无谓再忍你

明白放过你是放过自己这个道理

blank~

2009-07-14T05:33:00.005+08:00

im feeling really down recently~ hmmm...i dunno wad happen is with me i juz back from drinking wif my aunt at shop cuz she off day~ haix...do anyone really love me in toz world? i want sumone to love me wif all heart, i really love euu dd! i dunno wad i typing oso! i miss you! haaas... i love my dd! i love him! haaas... I LOVE MY DEAR DEAR! i wan my dd to love me with all heart too! lolx... yea(:

emo~

2009-07-12T22:31:00.002+08:00

haix...so emo right now~ i know what i say also no use liao, only actions prove eveything. hmmm...i will play my part! promises won't break by any of us alright? ilu~

我好累

2009-07-12T04:39:00.005+08:00

是我自己不够好，真的，是我不陪，你发我脾气是对的。我真的想做你的好女朋友，我一直在努力，但是一直失败！你和别的男朋友不同，这是我抓住而不放弃的理由！谢谢你给我的每一个机会，我真的有好好珍惜每一个机会，i will tend to blog to communiceta with you cause there's alot of time i don't dare to voice out infront of you cause i fear you! fear that anything i say will make you flare up or get pissed off with me! hmmm...yes its cause i cherish you and always try not to make you angry but always fail. yes you always try to understand me and give in i know the reason lies with me! im sorry! im really a failure gf! haix...faye! 加油加油加油! Thanks for always reading my blog(:

yipee~

2009-07-11T03:40:00.002+08:00

IM GONNA ROCK THE WORLD FOR THESE 4 DAYS(: im so happy cause finally get my freedom back, im as if a bird put out of a cage can! muahahhas... just back from malaysia to visit my ah ma! love her la! she's so worried about me! haaas! and maybe going in again on mon!:D yea now am watching tudou again! ima happy! i called dd to tell him and he say if tomorrow he going anywhere will bring me along! dd love you la^^ and i called my cousin she also laughing when she heard that cause i was shouting through the phone and she knew that i was way too happy to describe with words and haix... i knew a very sad thing today! my cousin was such a good girl in everyone's eyes and i never even expect her to do such a thing): jie really not a good thing to do la! okiies i understand your situation! nevermind no matter what i will support your decision but just don;t ever regret it cause you're the one who always tell me what to do and support whatever decision i do so its the only thing i can do and i can;t tell you what to do cause my mind is in a whirl too! too many countless secret between us! you must take care hoh! really! yes! we girls tend to be emotional at times but all just because of our love ones that hurt us so bad that we girls tend to do things so extreme to revenge that the gys will not expect! hmmm... ima person high in tolerence but don't push me too far for i will explode when i can't take it anymore! im more accomodating to the person i cherish and just take all crap and nonsense that the person do! its my way of loving someone but if i cannot take it liao i will throw tantrum and cry or talk about it! but to friends i will either mia or quarrel or try to avoid going out so often! haaas... what a big difference! i know you guys are gonna say i pian xin ritex?(: think girls we are all the same la! don;t say you won;t too fast alright?(: the time is reading 3:52am right now and im waiting dd to come fetch me at 6am if my daddy come home before 6am(: heheees! so i not gonna sleep now but sleep later(: at dd house! yes my eeyeor is there! can hug it to sleep again(: i pack my stuffs and waiting for dd le! i so gan chiong hoh?(:

i feel so useless~

2009-07-10T03:27:00.003+08:00

hmmm... why each and everytime i try to make him happy will end up making him angry? i feel so useless really! i feel like locking up myself! im useless yes i am i know! why can't just i make my precious one feel happy? why must i always make him angry or disappointed? im a lousy gf really! im useless im useless im useless! i wanna make him happy with me everyday can someone teach me how? i'll feel very sad and i hate myself really! i feel like slapping myself for all the mistake i've done to pissed him off! why am i like that? i wanna be a gd gf in your eyes but seems that i can't! i'll learn, the journey is still going on yes i will be strong and hold on. yes i will not give up! go go faye!

sorry~

2009-07-10T02:32:00.007+08:00

请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已
你是我这一生这一生最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人

hmmm...went to dear dear house after my test today, he was sick so i tabao horfun and mai pian ji for him! so sweet today! dd held my hands and asked me if he is the hand that i wanna hold on forever? of cause la this qns need to ask meh!? he said alot of ilu today and asked me if i love him! haaas... out of no where, after a storm its sunshine again(: dear dear ilu! i ask him what he do again why so sweet today, he say he hide girl in the cupboard ask me faster go check=.= think by the time i go home the girl also suffocate to death liao! hide in the cupboard so long! i never made dear dear angry today(: and i wore a translucent top, dear dear say only can wear with him around! heheees... so sweet la(: so concern about me i so happy(: just now earlier on, on the way to dd house, got a guy approach me and ask me to work as a telemarketer in their company, from what he say, their pay not bad lo! can consider(: okiies than i shall wait for thier call(: haix, unintentionally i made him angry again through game=.= cause im blogging and playing at the same time! no more next time! i thought he was happy if i blog 1st cause he keep asked me to blog! i don't know he was so serious about game! haix... sry again! nevermind forget it next time i will not multi task any more. anything do one thing at a time. i don't know why each time i wanna make him happy in the end i would make him pissed off instead? haix... whats wrong with me? its me really! im sry i tink im stupid): think he is not going to talk to me already till tomorrow? nevermind, i think im gonna be away from my lappy. haix...cant sleep again! nevermind i'll try to sleep! nitex all!

p/s: i made him angry once today=.=

im bored!

2009-07-09T06:12:00.005+08:00

im bored to hell! the time is showing 6:13am and im not abit sleepy! what has happen to me? im not thinking nor paranoid so what's stopping me from getting sleepy? too excited about the malaysia trip? cause im doing naughty stuffs over there? haaas... joking la(: im currently listening to 萧亚轩-安静！so in love with her singing this song!(: i sang in pub, sang in ktv! haaas...! i think im too crazily awake at this hour saying i love this song and somehow find the lyrics meaningful to me? "希望他是真的比我还要爱你，我才会逼自己离开，我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你!" isn't this phrase sweet?(: 如果有一个这样爱我的人来这样对我说我一定感动死的! so crazily happy listening this song? hmmm... im wierd! insomnia again?): someone save me please! i need to pop pills to sleep again? i don't want!

yes! i did stupid things and made him angry with me 4 times in a row less then 4hrs time! i feel so lousy each time he reprimand me! i feel as if im suach a failure being his gf! im sorry! i know im not up to your standard but am working hard each and everyday trying not to make you pissed off! really i am! maybe some of my friends will think that im stupid to sacrifice so much for a bf but i see it in another way. shall out it this way, if one party work hard but the other doesn't, the relationship won't last nor work out and initially break up after a period of time like a rubberband would eventually break when its over stretch! i would sacrifice so much as *i think* that i might have met the right guy whom correct my way in life, teach me things and dare to lecture me real hard and i really heed what he say! no bf have the ability to do that last time. i would just shout back or fight by throwing things if its the past me! im thankful that im learning to grow up with him guiding me by my side. never giving up on me though im being mischevious and playful at all time! he does not have the patience but he got the right mindset and ability to make me listen and be a good girl to attend school, to listen to my parent and give them respect! he's be able to stop me from partying and its the surprising part! last time if im angry or pissed off after a quarrel i would go party like no tomorrow and party harder than you do! but now! he party i go home and don't even dare to sneak out! hmmm...cause what i learn from him is how you want people to treat you, treat them the same way, cause there's a incident that i went out and never tell him cause i thought he was sleeping and don't wanna disturb him but end up i was lectured again cause at least i should leave a message telling him that im going out! i know i always make him worry as if im a small kid and this shows that he cares for me but in a different way by scolding me fiercely causse i remember him saying this"我凶是因为我要你记得"? i guess? haaas... today i pissed him off and he used a strong word *hate* after seeing that msg, tears came rolling down my cheeks! hmmm...i know i was wrong! im sorry!): im changing for the better i promise! i will prove to you ya? last but not least! i love you!

oh ya and i dyed my hair yesterday(: will post pic soon when i take photos when i go out! muahahas... gonna stay home and not be naughty for a period of time in order to gain my freedom again? i know im locked up cause im too playful!): my bad! haaas... i will be a good girl ya(:

2009-07-07T03:18:00.005+08:00

wow been updating my blog daily! muahahhas... hmmm! whats the big whoohaa about changin bf? its isn't a big deal! stop commenting cause i don't need comments! can ask but not comment! wah! all the qns been poping non-stop since i sign in my msn! haaas... yea yea yea! i need announce liao i chang new bf and his name is "kelvin Ho"! get it?

i don't deserve all these really after thinking so much! he zhao sai me twice is a thing i never ever mention in my blog so impression seems that im a bitch to give up such a good bf! whenever i open my eyes, quarrelling, shouting, fighting, crying would seems neverending. im such a paranoid queen because of you! i get to know more of your well-being after you went in. your friends said that you tend to bring girl home to fk them around when im not home! good! *clap clap* keep up th egood work! you're free to bring how many girls you want(: you will say why i rather belive your friend rather than you right? cause you give me zero trust to believe in you! im happy with what i have now! i don't ask for much, just a person who is willing to love me for life! you can't give me i know so im not hoping much on it already! i gave my life to another guy's hand so hope that he treasure it well! i have faith in him! i know we've got alot of memories so remember everything once again and forget all about it though i know its hard but at least try cause i once thought i could not live my life without you but i did and living my life to the fullest and happier than the past! there's better life and days up ahead(: wishin you all the best!

our meeting doesn't come easily so treasure everything we have and all the time we spent together(: im happy and hope you'll be the last guy that will be stepping intio my life cause i wanna only love you yo!(: